I'm still angry with me. [ he says, quietly, explaining it in the simplest term he can think of. yin yu's stil a shixiong, in his heart, and it's instinctive. ] I have lived a life of many regrets, and I have done many things that I am not proud of. I have not wanted Flayn to see that person, because she seems to think of me as something that I most decidedly am not.
[ a kind person. a good person. how can someone like him be kind? someone who snuck up on wen ning and killed him in the dead of night? someone who told his shidi to go die in a moment where that was nearly reality? every kind thing he's ever done, every good thing he's ever done: it will never make up for the pain that he's caused. this useless, regretful life that he's lived has left him better suited to be a tool than anything.
but over the weeks, between the island in here, something has started to change. there's a tiny part of him that soaks up the light that's been shined on him, that has cried out with need for attention, with need for love.
yin yu is not actually a tool only for the use of a ghost king. he's not a sword. that is the place where his similarities to yasusada end.
he is a human being. ]
...Perhaps it is selfish of me to have not told her, but I wanted to preserve that opinion. And... now, on the other side, I was admittedly thrown that she didn't trust me, but... it's not about that at all.
[ yin yu shakes his head. no. it wasn't about trust. it was about something else entirely. ] I don't feel any different about her knowing it, because being forced into doing something cannot define who you are.
...I think I'm just an idiot. [ yin yu finishes, and then, with a soft huff that an only be a laugh, his mouth twitches into a smile. ] ...I think perhaps we might deserve each other, after all.
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[ a kind person. a good person. how can someone like him be kind? someone who snuck up on wen ning and killed him in the dead of night? someone who told his shidi to go die in a moment where that was nearly reality? every kind thing he's ever done, every good thing he's ever done: it will never make up for the pain that he's caused. this useless, regretful life that he's lived has left him better suited to be a tool than anything.
but over the weeks, between the island in here, something has started to change. there's a tiny part of him that soaks up the light that's been shined on him, that has cried out with need for attention, with need for love.
yin yu is not actually a tool only for the use of a ghost king. he's not a sword. that is the place where his similarities to yasusada end.
he is a human being. ]
...Perhaps it is selfish of me to have not told her, but I wanted to preserve that opinion. And... now, on the other side, I was admittedly thrown that she didn't trust me, but... it's not about that at all.
[ yin yu shakes his head. no. it wasn't about trust. it was about something else entirely. ] I don't feel any different about her knowing it, because being forced into doing something cannot define who you are.
...I think I'm just an idiot. [ yin yu finishes, and then, with a soft huff that an only be a laugh, his mouth twitches into a smile. ] ...I think perhaps we might deserve each other, after all.