[ when the dust settles from the chaos of the breakin, and everyone involved has been tended to, yin yu makes a beeline for one person in particular. he's maskless--the material agitates the scratches on his face--but nonetheless, dimitri is going to receive a visit from yin yu pretty much the minute everyone's confirmed to be stable.
A lot, though none of it was truly real. [ a beat, before he begins to give his report. it's as clear and thorough as ever. ]
Lady Flayn and I were separated from Lady Lili nearly upon entrance to that building. When we turned down a hallway, we had both forgotten about the camp entirely, and entered a door that led us back to the island. The moment I stepped through, it was as if I had returned back to the very first week, when we first learned of the task the gods gave us. I began to get lightheaded, and Lady Flayn's injury reopened without any provocation.
[ his expression flickers--something bitter and angry, just for a brief second. nothing he could have done, except prevent her from going in the first place, and flayn is too headstrong. ] There was an infirmary tent on the island that had not been there before, and a table outside with tools on it. Lady Flayn walked to the tent, and I took a knife from the table and followed.
...Lady Tanzawa was inside. She was a child. Maybe eleven or twelve, at best. She asked us what treatment we required, as if she were a doctor, and insisted on providing treatment, particularly to Lady Flayn. Lady Tanzawa's strength was unnatural, and she pushed Lady Flayn down onto a cot and pulled out something that must have been for an injection. I got between them, and Lady Tanzawa told us she needed to remove our 'residuals'; the moment she did, these odd black bumps appeared beneath our skin and started moving around, as if they were bugs.
[ hm, gross! it was pretty horrifying. ] I forced her to drop whatever medication she had, and she immediately started to grapple with me. She wasn't... it wasn't Lady Tanzawa--by that point, she started to change into some sort of creature with claws, and was coming at us with the complete intent to kill. [ that makes his injuries, the claw marks at his face, make a bit more sense. ] She said we 'ruined everything',
Whatever those residuals were acted as a paralytic, at least to me. They slowed my movements, and if I hadn't acted quickly, I think I would have been rooted to the spot entirely. However, I was able to keep her away from Lady Flayn, and fought with her for some time before I was able to dispatch her completely.
[ RUNS AT SISI but in any case, dimitri is going here and there to keep himself busy—there's plenty of locations to fill up a day with, now—but right now he's rounding back to the cabins when he, almost literally, runs into yin yu.
he's distracted enough that he narrowly avoids shoulder-checking him, stepping to the side instead. ]
Oh—Yin Yu. My apologies... I should've been paying attention to where I was going.
[ yin yu pivots just in time to avoid running into dimitri and stops, a bit surprised, too. but! after a moment, he puts his fist to hand to give a proper bow, masked as usual. ]
I was in the way, my lord, it's alright. Where are you headed?
Edited (it helps to close tags smh) 2020-07-09 12:00 (UTC)
[ u_u sometimes you just are a servant and apologize forever it be like that.
oh, but... at the invitation... he nods, a little surprised. ] ...That...would be nice, if you wouldn't mind. [ !! yin yu sounds... a little happy about it, actually? we've come so far.]
[ dimitri, while generally reticent this week, looks a little pleased at that too. if nothing else, time spent together at this camp was better than time spent alone. ]
Of course not. You would be doing me a great boon.
[ he's nice company? ]
Though I admit I'm not without an ulterior motive.
yin yu dips his head in admittance to it, a little embarrassed, but luckily, the question is easy enough to answer, a nice distraction. ]
Yes, that's correct. [ dimitri said he wanted to get to know him, a little more... so, he shifts, a bit, almost shyly, and adds: ] That is...well, my training was always with a standard jian sword. A longer one. [ he gestures to roughly the side of a standard sized sword. ]
But, it has been many years since I've carried one. Most of the time I use a short sword, now, or a dagger, but my strengths have always been in hand to hand.
Are you proficient with any weapons besides the one you carry, my lord?
I don't have the luxury of a sword here, but we should spar sometime. My unarmed combat is not quite where I want it to be.
[ if yin yu says he's proficient, he's probably very good and just being modest. that's dimitri's take on this conversation. as for him... ]
I've always been quite good with spears and lances. And with practice, I've learned swordsmanship as well. [ he sounds pretty confident with both—if there's anything he won't play down, it's his ability to stab people. ] Otherwise... I've been studying mounted combat, as well as archery and some hand-to-hand.
[ battle school! ]
Ah, but I didn't mean to talk so much about martial arts... [ hmm what else do people talk about ] What do you do to relax?
[ martial arts are cool!!!!! you don't even know!!!! he's a nerd, actually! ]
That's all impressive, my lord. If you'd be interested in learning some more hand to hand techniques, I'd be happy to teach you. [ with a polite bow of his head. ] I've learned a few styles beyond that of my homeland, but if you're already proficient with enough weaponry, it's just a matter of shifting your perspective.
[ that's quite a bit of combat... it doesn't surprise him, though. dimitri is as ever impressive, and flayn had mentioned that their schooling was all in martial capabilities, much like his own had been once upon a time.
as for his second question he -- snorts, a little. relaxation... he's a certified workaholic. ] ...I like to meditate, but I'm not sure if that really counts. I can't say I'm a very 'relaxed' person; I'm more or less alert at all hours. [ ... ] I've started to read again here, as well.
[ ...anyway. ] What is your homeland like? Or... your court, or your kingdom?
[ he smiles, faint and tired but still with a certain sincerity that's hard to fake. he likes fighting! he likes learning. all the better when the two are together, and yin yu seems like he'd be patient enough to be an instructor.
though maybe dimitri should be teaching him to relax, instead? too bad he's also terrible at it. ]
You do seem a bit... skittish, if you don't mind my saying so. [ it's not said like an insult. ] Though I cannot blame you, given the circumstances... [ ....... ] Ah, right—Faerghus. It is... severe, I suppose, in both temperature and temperament. Our winters are long and stretch through most of the year, and our way of living is austere to survive it. But we value honor, and there is some beauty to our woods... I hope to do what I can to make life easier for my people, so that perhaps it might soften their edges.
[ he has no regrets learning how to fight, but it'd be nice to see a world where people don't have to. he pauses. ]
Sorry—it is a subject I've many feelings on. What of you? What sort of master and nation do you serve?
[ no, he doesn't mind the phrasing; yin yu's more than aware of it, so he just huffs a little laugh, a bit of amusement behind the mask itself. as he listens, he's quiet, trying to picture this place he calls home. it seems to suit dimitri; an austere lifestyle. he can distinctly remember how uncomfortable he looked back on the island, where the humidity was so thick it covered you like a blanket. ]
It's alright. As any lord should, no? [ considering!
....he thinks about hua cheng, for a minute. well... sometimes actions speak louder than words...considering he seems to insult the ghost city residents as much as literally anything else. they love it, though, so there's... that.
yin yu takes a thoughtful moment to put together his answer, though, speaking of his master. ] ...Nation isn't quite the right word. The affairs that I am the most often involved with are outside of the traditional mortal realm; rather, my master's city deals with the 'underworld', or occasionally, with heavenly officials as well.
My lord and master's title - Chengzhu - means 'city master'. As such, I work for him as the Xianxianyue Officer of the Ghost City. It is... a place like you probably have never imagined. [ yin yu looks a little farther away for a moment, a bit... homesick isn't the right word, because that would imply ghost city to be his home, but it's something near it. ] It is full of monsters, demons and ghosts, though humans and heavenly officials visit it quite often. Picture the largest, loudest market you've ever seen: the stalls, the lanterns, and the lights, everything is red, and creatures of all sorts wander through the streets.
[ he reaches up and gives a brief tap to his mask. ] Many of them wear masks such as my own, to hide their features, but others choose not to. The city is a place where they can live - sometimes they are creatures kicked out of the cycle of reincarnation, or sometimes they simply need a home. It is a wild, raucous place. Ghosts don't sleep, and many of them participate in any sort of mortal vices that you could possibly imagine. Gambling, drinking, dancing... any sort of debauchery takes place at all hours of the day and night.
[ LORE!!!! ] ...It seems I've spoken a bit more than necessary, as well. [ with a little laugh. ] Did you still want to know about my master?
[ What a fascinating place... Yin Yu describes it in such vivid detail that even if he's too mortal to really understand the concept, he can get a sense of its energy. ]
It certainly sounds more colorful than the underworld we read about. [ Faerghus's afterlife is about as bleak as Faerghus itself. ] I can't say I would feel at home there, but... it's a nice idea. Somewhere where those lost in time might find acceptance and a place to rest.
[ With all his heart, he wishes that sort of place were true. His expression turns a bit soft before he nods. ]
Of course. Please, continue.
[ Despite the fact that he kind of dragged Yin Yu into this conversation, Dimitri does prefer listening to speaking. ]
It is something like that. I'm not sure if rest is the right word, but... it's certainly something.
[ it's ghost vegas.
anyway. hua cheng... ] ..Chengzhu is even more complicated. In our lands, ghosts come with certain rankings as assigned to them by the heavens, based on the danger they could cause. The highest level ghost is a "calamity" - of which there are only three, and have only been three for quite some time. [ and a half. qi rong sucks and the heavens wanted to have four because it was an even number. incredible.] My master is one of these calamity level ghosts--the so called "Ghost King". He has many aliases, but most colloquially know him as "Crimson Rain Sought Flower".
Chengzhu is famous not for the path he took to become a calamity, but rather what he did afterwards - he defeated 33 gods in martial combat or debate, and then eliminated their presence in the mortal realm in a single night.
[ this is like the most words he's ever spoken around dimitri, probably. yin yu doesn't like talking much about himself, but...he respects his master more than just about anything. besides, his story is quite interesting.]
[ Well, he recognizes the sort of easy reverence that a servant can have for their master. It's not... something he likes, really, but it's nice to hear Yin Yu speak on something he feels some passion for.
So, he smiles, minute and a little amused. A crimson flower... ]
Powerful enough to take down a pantheon of gods... the man you serve must be a force to be reckoned with, Yin Yu. I should like to fight him myself.
[ Worth foes!! Maybe he ought to portal himself to ghost vegas someday.
Anyway, he'd ask this whether they were playing a game or not: ]
I don't mean to offend, my lord, but I don't think you would stand much of a chance.
[ he says this almost apologetically, but... dimitri might get the sense that yin yu is ...amused? he's. he's teasing. (it is true, though; hua cheng is absolutely terrifying.) ] Chengzhu is only outclassed in terms of spiritual power by the heavenly emperor himself.
[ mmm... the question is an interesting one. yin yu pauses. ] ...I miss the work, and the normalcy, but Chengzhu and I... don't really have that sort of relationship. It's more business than us being particularly close. [ with a small shrug of his shoulders. ] He can be quite capricious, and tends to toss out treasures that even the richest man would be dazzled by...I have no doubts that were I to stop being useful, I would have left this world some time ago.
[ wow! that's depressing. well, maybe to someone else. yin yu is fine with it; he has something to work hard for, and that's the thing that matters the most. it was what he needed when this started. ] But, he saved my life, and gave me a purpose when I needed one. Not to mention, I have been his retainer for a little over three centuries now, so I suppose that says something of the trust that we have built, too.
[ at least he's good at his job. ] Do you have any retainers of your own?
[ oh, he laughs a little at that. he'd absolutely lose—he's by no means strong enough to challenge a god—but boy does it just make him want to fight more.
anyway, it's a short-lived humor; he frowns at yin yu's description, uncertain of whether their relationship was really this... impersonal, or if yin yu is just being modest. ]
Three centuries... I struggle to believe it's as impassive as you say. Your master must have valued you more than you think, Yin Yu.
[ surely if he were truly disposable, he'd have been disposed of. ]
But I suppose I speak from a different perspective. I do have one retainer—a man named Dedue. You... remind me of him, a bit.
I know that he trusts me, and that's more valuable than anything else. [ yin yu nods, solemn. how rare, to have obtained the trust of the ghost king. he knows his skills are valuable - but in essence, he is moreso a tool than anything. ] I've done everything in my power to assist him, and I will do so for as long as I live.
[ lol.
anyway. ah!! he tilts his head, a bit curious. ] What's he like, if you don't mind my asking?
[ trust is a delicate thing between a lord and their retainer—invaluable and indispensable. how much easier would the island have been, if he knew who he could trust?
he sighs, leaning back on his hands as he reminisces. ]
He's serious and more... blunt than you are. People often find him intimidating. [ Dimitri looks faintly amused by this. Dedue uses all the polite words that he's been taught, but does not hold his punches with them. ] But he is quiet and spends more time with gardens than people. He's... kind, and forgives my recklessness even as he chastises me for it. He can be overbearing in his protectiveness, sometimes, but he is very dear to me.
[ there is an obvious fondness in his voice, but he frowns. ]
...He also does not consider me a friend. He views himself more as a vassal than his own person—a truly wonderful person with capabilities he won't recognize. I saved his life as well, but he does not seem to realize that by having him by my side, I have been saved countless times. He claims that my cause is his cause, that he lives for my sake, but I...
[ he pauses when his voice starts to get heated, emotional. he misses him. it's strange not having Dedue or the Professor by his side anymore. ]
I'd rather he find his own happiness, rather than being shackled to mine.
[ yin yu's quiet for a long moment as he listens to the tale. he doesn't know this person, but...
...he does, really. the second part of dimitri's emotional description sticks to yin yu, deep in his core. he empathizes with that -- a vassal more than a person-- so much that it can't be described in words.
it takes him a long moment to speak, and when he does, yin yu glances down at his hands, fingers laced together. ] ...he sounds like an incredibly good person to put your trust in.
[ someone he would like to meet, some day. not that such things are really possible, but... yin yu would certainly be able to make a conversation with him. he seems thoughtful, wanting to regard what dimitri said carefully, to take his emotions into account. ]
...It is often the happiness of a servant to see a job well done. [ he says, softly, full of weight. ] To know that you've kept someone safe, or done all that you can to help the person that you serve... it is a feeling of satisfaction in and of itself. I would not discount those thoughts: I know it can be hard to see from the other side.
[ ...he knows, because he's been on both.
he doesn't tell dimitri that, though. ] My work has been my purpose for centuries. [ ... ] When I say that Chengzhu's deeds are the reason that I am still alive, I do not say so lightly. I live for the job that I do, and the person that I do, not just because he saved my life at a time when I needed it, but because he gave me a reason to continue walking when I had none.
I do not know your retainer, but if he is anything like me, then it is no such shackle. [ serious, weighty, soft. he looks at dimitri again, finally. ] The position that I hold has been my salvation.
Edited 2020-07-11 17:34 (UTC)
w6, post doxx!! finally in death we are allowed to pc
that was terrible. it's a little while after things are all said and done that yin yu comes to find dimitri wherever he's holed up to be sad. he greets him as ever with a bow, though not with his hands. there's not really much sneaking to be done with these fancy phoenix wings or also, anything about him lately, so at least it shouldn't be too surprising! ] Lord Dimitri.
[ and the reason for there not being much sneaking is that he is holding... a bag of marshmallows, a bag of chocolate, and... a box of graham crackers?
yeah. ] ...Someone a few weeks ago brought me food when I needed it a bit more than I knew. I... it's an interesting modern snack.
[ ...that's. the best he's got, yeah. today sucked! let's eat smores. ]
[ It's an old habit of his, to retreat somewhere when he needs a moment of sadness. Dimitri has always struggled to keep his emotions in check, but he shouldn't expose them when he needs to be stalwart, a leader.
Now that he's alone, he just sort of sits around with his thoughts. The feathers really do put a spotlight on Yin Yu though, so he manages a small smile before he approaches, clearly fake. ]
he nods, quietly, and moves to do just that. yin yu has to fold all six feet of him down a bit awkwardly, the wings and the...tail feathers... doing little to make it any easier, but, he settles across from dimitri anyway, and sets out the snack of choice, moving to open the packages as necessary. ]
...It's one of the things that makes this place feel quite different than the realm of my home. I suppose it's a small comfort, but the ghosts of Ghost City do not need to eat; they simply choose to. For us to still have the needs of survival means just that.
[ Dimitri, whose 'transformation' is much simpler, fails to hide a faint amusement thanks to an unconscious ear-twitch. Poor Yin Yu. What a mismatched set of traits for a man who tries to fade away, but maybe this is for the best. ]
I suppose that it is.
[ ... ]
In Faerghus, we have a few different iterations of the afterlife. Some believe it is a cold, dark fate underground. Others believe we are sent to the Goddess in peaceful slumber. Others think it is an eternal flame.
[ He doesn't say what he believes in, though. ]
Either way, it doesn't quite seem that we're dead. Or maybe I'm just having more trouble letting go of life than I expected.
[ he listens to the lore about dimitri's country attentively, as always, and as yin yu makes himself the silly little sandwich snack that akira taught him, he huffs, a little amused on his own. ]
Death is no ending, at least not for myself. It is a cycle - not to mention, Hua Chengzhu's mastery of most things related to life and death means that even a soul could be easily restored if it was lost, if it was something worth saving. This place feels a bit more like my home: I've never experienced it from the side of a ghost, but I can imagine it feels something like this.
[ wandering the world, stuck in between cycles - those are the kinds of ghosts that yin yu sees every single day. it makes coping with this so much easier to know that it's something normal. ]
Besides, if we intend to return, then it is merely a pause. [ he glances up, searching dimitri's face, quietly observant as ever. ] ...Isn't it?
...I've always viewed death with a sort of finality. [ He didn't opt to die thinking that he'd come back. ] It's still difficult for me to imagine living again, but I don't want to dampen anyone's spirits. I do intend to fight either way, but I would do so whether we returned or not.
[ Dark as they are, those are honest feelings on the matter, if Yin Yu wants them. He leans back on his hands, a little more relaxed than he was in life, looking up at the ceiling tiles. He misses the sky—maybe he should throw himself through the portal later. ]
Do your ghosts...
[ A half-beat—there's a thoughtfulness to his pause. ]
How does the cycle go? Do their lives improve upon iteration?
Sometimes. [ yin yu puts equal weight on the answers on that he's giving, because dimitri certainly deserves it. idle musing on death after death... well, it's one way to cope. ] Sometimes, not at all.
The thought is that every life you experience - good, bad, in between - will help you to grow. There is no end destination, or end goal, short of immortality. You may remember who you were, or you may not, or you may remember thousands of years down the line.
[ yin yu huffs, a quiet little laugh as he settles back a bit, too, with his newly crafted s'more. ] Of course, I've never reincarnated myself, so I can only tell you what I know from my studies.
I don't think you'll dampen anyone's spirits, my lord. Despite the circumstances, I think having you here is a boon, for many of us. [ with a small duck of his head. ] Many of us from the island have come to know you as a capable, reliable leader. I know that I have.
[ yin yu pauses, glancing down at the sandwich in his hand. something shutters across his expression, and his voice quiets a little further. ] ...I was the first person to figure out that you asked to die. Once they were able to find you, it was obvious. I didn't know all of the circumstances, but...I was able to piece together most of them.
[ Reincarnation with destination—it's interesting. Was even this place meant to teach him something? Were they really growing—did any of them deserve to live again?
He understands the greater evil and the pain that everyone has been through, killers and victims alike, but... there is so much damage to heal, still. He sounds tired—and for a lifetime of bright, shining idealism, for a moment, he looks jaded. ]
It did seem that you all had a better understanding of things than the living did.
[ It sounds like, from what Guy has told him already, the dead were able to work out most of it. Or maybe... the living just didn't want to see it? There's plenty he's trying to understand about what happened, but it sounds like it went about as terribly as possible. People too attached to his memory—people too attached to his killers. It seemed that some doubted his ability to self-sacrifice—it was too clean a death for someone like him, someone who could fight until he could no longer move, until the last, stuttered breath hissed out of between his teeth like steam.
He's glad that some people pieced it together—though Yin Yu has gotten one thing wrong as well. Just one, arbitrary detail that only really matters to Dimitri himself. ]
[ that fact has stuck with him in the days since, too. you all had a better understanding than the living did. to yin yu, the culprit of this crime had been almost painfully obvious. flayn's kindness means that everyone seems to adore her, for the most part - yin yu is not an exception - but... how many people actually knew her?
he's quiet, thoughtful as he thinks through his answer. ]
...I was not aware of the "roles" - or certainly the extent of them. I had learned of one when I arrived here, but after the trial on Saturday, I deduced that Flayn had one, too. Initially, I thought that she was working with Lady Beau, and that you all had to have discussed what was going to happen, on Thursday at some point after the teams were combined. I know now she was only involved in that she was killing others, too, but not you.
I thought perhaps that you and Flayn had discussed the necessity of the kill, because Winter's team was the only one that was still separated from the others. I'm not sure if it was the night of, at curfew, or after the engagement. I know such roles make it so that they cannot speak of their involvement, so... with more time to think on it, it seems more likely that it was the night of.
[ his brow furrows; something small and sad filters into his expression. ] The tea - that was the two of you, wasn't it? On curfew night, in the gardens: it is a place that she loves, and something that she loves, too. I'm not sure how you got there in the first place, or when the conversation ultimately took place.
[ a pause. ] ...There were many things I couldn't place, or details that wouldn't fall in line. I wasn't sure what the ultimate cause of death was, or how the other party might have factored in--I now know there were two others. I didn't know that those with such 'roles' could not confess to even being an accomplice until today, so I thought perhaps originally it was Flayn who completed the final blow, with an accomplice who refused to say anything.
...And I know after the deed was done, she was the one that must have placed you among the verbenas, or - at least asked for someone to help her place you there. That was her, without a doubt.
[ He nods, listening silently. It's mostly correct. ]
She probably set up the tea, yes. [ Very few people knew his preferences, so that much was likely obvious. ] The flowers were likely her attempt to be caught—Flayn made it clear enough she was willing to die instead. But I sat and spoke with them all a while—I already suspected there was a killing role, and they explained to me their circumstances, within reason.
[ The fact that if one of them died, they'd be replaced—the notion that they didn't want to do this. The reality that keeping the killing roles alive was—ultimately—not a bad thing for the good of all.
Dimitri does not believe in ends justifying means, but the reality is that everyone is suffering this game by having to play it, and that they had to make it to the end soon. He has sympathy for both sides, though that doesn't mean he's free of some judgment. ]
I collaborated as best I could to get that point across—that most of our killers were working to end this game to save as many lives as possible. And that my death was, ultimately, to buy time, and not something to be avenged.
[ The trials are a joke. It doesn't seem like anyone got that, but in retrospect, he understands why emotions were running so high. Their feelings are manipulated against them—they were bound to fail trials, really. ]
...Everything about this place is meant to twist our emotions against each other. The bonds we have, the things we share—it means we protect those we love most and hurt the rest. We become blind to the wrongdoings of those we care about... it takes our trust and makes a knife of it. It draws the evil from each and every one of us like blood from a wound.
[ He hasn't forgiven everyone involved. But he understands them enough that he doesn't seek to kill anyone. He just hates what they've all become—and, most of all, hates the game that's made them this way. ]
Even you...
[ ... ]
I didn't ask to die. I was not above killing whoever I saw that night.
[ Was it easier to believe that he had chosen his own end? When Yin Yu first realized that Flayn was involved, did he hope that she might escape detection? That maybe this was Dimitri had asked her to kill him, and not vice versa? Would he have covered for her, if only he was alive?
[ he's quiet for a little while, listening to what dimitri says. it makes sense, knowing the details that he knows, now, and... the part about our bonds, our trust -
that, too.
he gives a small bow of his head. ] ...You speak very wisely, my lord. It was admittedly quite difficult to see the whole picture.
[ a lot of the things on dimitri's mind have been weighing on yin yu's, too. trust, bonds... the person who faced him the night of his murder was not someone he would have expected to be across from. for a moment, he glances up at the ceiling of the campsco, and sits back, a little, too; the bone deep exhaustion that has been set into his bones his whole life seems more obvious, more familiar. ]
...You weren't able to see the trial itself. The directors offered to take gifts to those on the other side for us that morning, and I sent Lady Flayn a bouquet, with a coded message through the flowers, though it only accounted for my suspicions of another person who was revealed to have a role, today. At first search, the living only found the lead up to your death, and not your body itself. There was a tea set, and then, the flowers - I thought, admittedly, perhaps someone was setting her up. I was sure that if she was to be scapegoated, then it would have been my fault. And that thought terrified me, I will admit.
...However, no one even bothered to ask. And as the investigation began to wear on, I realized that, were the living to notice and put the pieces together, I would have ensured her capture, instead.
[ a lot of things about that trial still bother him. the fact that no one else noticed. that no one else saw how much flayn wanted to be caught. but - even if they did, would they ignore it? because they felt like she didn't deserve a just punishment, because of her kindness, her good nature?
did people there really know her, at all?
yin yu exhales, as he considers that night, and finishes, quietly. ] And that... that was alright with me. By the end, I was hoping it would trigger someone into seeing the things that I saw.
At the time, it seemed even crueler, to not allow it. I did not know the depths of what she had done to that point, but we once spoke to each other that if we found the other doing something unspeakable along these lines, then we would see it through to its end, as justice would tell -- whether it was hurtful, or not. I know how it feels to live alone with the guilt of an unspeakable crime.
Ultimately, these trials are just a farce to cover the bigger problem. As we learned on the island itself, death is not an end here. It is merely a pause, should we play our cards correctly. While the actions committed by those who were assigned these 'jobs' is cruel...the fact lays in that they were 'assigned'. Our real enemy is that pink creature that is set to be born any moment now, that took away the right of those who killed to choose whether they wanted to do such a thing or not.
[ yin yu is usually not someone who speaks often, particularly around someone he considers of a higher standing than himself. but as they speak through this, he seems a little more open, a little more relaxed in doing so.
death has a lot of way of giving you perspective. death, and life - both things yin yu never really felt like he had.
he stops, takes a deep breath. his expression's a little far off, for a moment, but it settles, into something calm. ] When I awoke after curfew on the night I was killed, I was in the same mindset as you. I knew that if I ran into someone, logically, the odds of me surviving were quite high. I am a capable fighter, and have rarely run into trouble even inside of the camp. Yasusada and I fought for some time, and if he hadn't used his power on me, it may have ended differently.
But... [ he trails off, for a moment, then, looks back at dimitri, properly. unmasked, bare in admitting it. accepting, and willing, and...a little freed. ] I did choose to die, my lord.
[ he shakes his head, his voice staying calm, solemn. ] I didn't want to kill someone again. I fought for my life up until I knew it was going to be over, and then, instead of tying Yasusada to myself so he would die alongside me, I chose to tie him to Lady Lili - so that perhaps you all would have a chance to find some answers. The fact that I awoke here with all the memories of what happened was the only knowledge I had I may have been successful, and to see things unraveling since makes me think it at least could have been a start. To me, that was more important than dying; my life is that of a servant, but ultimately, it is a life in which I have not felt that I had many choices.
I did not mean to begrudge you, or to absolve you of anything that may have stained your hands. I would not absolve anyone who has committed a crime, either. I think every one of us has the capability for terrible things, and terrible violence.
[ go die! ]
...But the choice of what we do with that instinct - or how we address it after it has already been done - is what I think makes a person who they are. This place-- that thing-- has taken choice from many of us, and that is not a fate I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
I'm choosing to focus forward on eliminating that creature. The consequences for those who committed crimes are not forgotten, and not forgiven. But I believe there are many in that group who would not dared to have done so, and that is the thread that I want to carry me forward to solving this once and for all.
[ Isn't it nice, to be so wonderful? Self-sacrificing, understanding. Naturally, Yin Yu would choose to die. Of course he would out Flayn as a murderer instead of covering her tracks. Dimitri admires it, truly, but he doesn't expect someone like this to understand him.
Still, he's aware that everything Yin Yu is saying rings true—he understood it all before his death, though he sounds tired now. ]
I applaud what you've done so far, Yin Yu. You've made the most of a truly cruel situation, and I don't disagree with most of your words.
[ He's glad to listen, and he respects him. He just doesn't agree, not entirely. ]
But, what... choice do you speak of? We may be the only two here who had any say in being here to begin with.
[ They both had the option to kill, or to die. He doubts the other victims had that luxury, besides perhaps Shinobu or Sanji. And besides Yin Yu, there are few who even received any justice for their deaths—any answers, or time to grieve and process. The memory of having his throat slit is only a few hours old. ]
Everyone here is willing to swallow their bitterness and fight on—I have no doubt that when the snake appears, we will all do battle, together. [ Who is honestly going to sit here and not help out of sheer pettiness? Hikage wasn't wrong: they have to resolve this game before they can do anything else anyway, so their hand is more or less decided for them. ] But choice is the last thing any of these people have ever had.
[ It's true that the pink snake is the enemy. He sympathizes with their killers. He believes that their cruelty was raised to the surface by the game, not by their own will. He wouldn't have agreed to his end if he didn't truly believe that Flayn and the others wouldn't try to face justice. But it doesn't matter—no one wanted to notice her, because in the end, they protect their own. Did he want her to be found? He doesn't know. Trials mean nothing. Flayn must be suffering a great deal—someone as kind as her, bearing such crimes without recourse. He isn't so foolish that he expects his own death wasn't difficult for her, and looking back, she must have known it was coming for days.
But she and the others had a choice. They had no option but to kill, but they chose who died—they decided who got to live. Even now, they're shown understanding and, in some cases, forgiveness, when they should live with guilt. That's the burden of living at all.
Dimitri holds no bitterness for his own death: he would die a thousand times over for everyone here. But the problem is that... they were the only two given that option, anyway. ]
I suppose you could consider it a choice that no one has given up, but... the reality is that nearly everyone here was robbed of options long ago.
[ being robbed of choices. being protective of your own. being cruel, being kind - the fact that the dice fell so that many people from the same place were all protecting each other. now it becomes obvious that their group suffered, while the group from the ship only lost one saturday, by a true fluke.
he loses a little steam, stopping as he considers dimitri's words. it it more wonderful? such self sacrifices come from a distinct self hatred, from a judgement of his own character as something inherently sacrificial. as worthless. its taken him some time to think he may even be more than that, and even after making the choice to die that night, he struggled with it. he'd caused pain - more than he knew - in doing so, and that had been stunning to him. ] That's... what I wanted to get at, I think. Even since the island - we have never had much choice at all. None of us entered this 'game' willingly, and none of us expected to be dragged into it a second time. Tomioka certainly did not choose to work for the spirits of the island, and those with roles did not choose to be burdened with such a thing.
Still others killed without those provocations. There are still killings we do not understand, even with that confession. I suppose in that respect, those people had some form of 'choice', but I know for certain one was out of relation to attempting to assure the fate of one who is sleeping. That life was more important to that person than my own.
[ by now, he and yasusada are okay. yin yu recognizes the blessing for what it is - that he was able to remember. but ultimately his death was needless; it had been chosen by someone else, for a conclusion they secured a week later, with no death involved.
yin yu falls quiet again, looking down at his hands. it's a little while before he responds again. ] ...Everything here is designed to pit us against each other. The lines for alliances and such were drawn in the sand before any of us even really knew it, and these roles acted as catalysts to make it worse. It is that act of taking such choices that is the root of every problem we've since discussed. Even those who confessed today - the amount of vitriol and anger that is quite rightfully deserved is sure to cause a stir, and may perhaps cause people to react in vengeance - I can only hope it won't, because there is little that we can do here. Perhaps any actions taken against others will come after, when we defeat this creature and reunite. I can't be sure.
It feels like even to put this behind us is cruel, even temporarily. There is no putting anything about this place, or the island, behind any of us at all. Victim or perpetrator, we will all be haunted by the memories of the things that transpired here forever.
...But the clear minded goal of destroying the pink creature is the only way I know how to cope with all of this, for now. [ with a soft huff of a humorless laugh. ] Perhaps that is not so wise of me, or so healthy, but it is the only way I know how to keep moving.
[ With the full details as they are, he hasn't really opted to forgive Yasusada—it was a senseless, selfish death—but Yin Yu is perfectly capable of dealing with his own revenge, if he wants it. So Dimitri leaves it well enough alone, listening before he speaks.
Yin Yu isn't wrong about any of this, though it's clear there is no good resolution. In the end, even with a clear goal ahead, there is no neat, painless solution. ]
It's unfair, how cruel this place makes people. [ ... ] Or rather, how much it brings the capacity for cruelty out of everyone. The blame ultimately lies on this snake, but we're the ones who must bear the consequences.
[ The secrecy, the roles, the fact that they couldn't explain themselves—it's all meant to cause division and strife, and it worked. And once the snake is gone, all they'll have left is the repercussions. The killers will have to answer for what choices they did make. The dead will have the burden of showing them understanding, of looking deep inside themselves and wondering if they would've been any better.
They've all shown such ugliness—maybe they deserve to be haunted. Dimitri still has hope, but there's something damaged to it now, its luster faded. But he's calmer, at least. He tilts his chin up, looking at nothing in particular as he frowns. ]
In any case, I would never take anyone's reason to live away from them. [ The irony being that they're dead, but. Even so. ] When so much around us is razed to nothing—that's when we most need something to cling to, I think.
[ Whether it's a goal, or a task. Revenge, redemption, or reunion. Whatever it is, he hopes this week will be when all the dead find their reason. ]
For what it's worth, I think everyone will chose to focus on what they still have yet to save, rather than what they've already lost.
I hope you're right, my lord. [ for the most part, he thinks he is. yin yu knows there are exceptions - ogata's bullheaded stubbornness to cause everyone suffering certainly sticks out, but even in that, he's not entirely sure. it's been a very strange few days. a strange few weeks, really, since he woke up gasping for air in the middle of the ocean outside of a tropical island instead of in the middle of a mountain, running from quan yizhen as fast as his legs would carry him.
once, he needed something to cling to, just like that, and hua cheng gave it to him. maybe hua cheng didn't know; maybe he just wanted to stick it to the heavens, to take on their banished god and use him to his full potential. yin yu has never asked hua cheng why he chose to save him, and he never really will, but that work had become his own salvation, in the end. he's looking forward to returning to it.
...maybe. not as much as he was, when they finished at the island. now, for the first time, he's not so sure.
yin yu's quiet for a long moment, then, reflective, as he looks up, too. the fluorescent lights buzzing above them are dull and dead compared to the outside, compared to life. even in the ghost city, a place filled to the brim with the dead and the dying, there were always the stars up ahead.
what they still have yet to save. what they still have yet to do. death comes with regrets, doesn't it? no matter what kind of person that you are. he thinks back to their conversation the week he died, of nation, of home. ] ...Lord Dimitri. When you return to Faerghus, what awaits you? You're still quite young. Will you be ascending to the throne?
[ He doesn't know everyone fluently, but from gauging their reactions, he thinks they'll get through this. He has to put his faith somewhere—why not the people around him? Even if they've all shown the cruelest, angriest, weakest sides of themselves...
He focuses on the question. ]
Yes. [ In this, he doesn't waver. There's no bright, haughty enthusiasm to his voice, but he's been groomed for the throne since the day he was born—he knows what he is. ] Once I come of age, I will succeed my uncle and become king.
[ It won't be long now. There's no moon and stars here to look for, so he switches his gaze forward instead. ]
Though I have to make amends for my family as well. [ Revenge. ] I think both will keep me busy, so long as I live.
[ Whether that's a few years or a few decades... if he gets back home, he'll have plenty that he still has yet to accomplish. ]
What of you, Yin Yu? Do you intend to return to your master?
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w1, evening
where you at boar man ]
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with... everything that's happened, he's obviously not in a great mood. still, he nods at yin yu as he approaches. ]
Shouldn't you be resting?
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I will, soon. [ as he rises. ] ...We were returned to the island, even if it was an illusion.
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What? What did you see?
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Lady Flayn and I were separated from Lady Lili nearly upon entrance to that building. When we turned down a hallway, we had both forgotten about the camp entirely, and entered a door that led us back to the island. The moment I stepped through, it was as if I had returned back to the very first week, when we first learned of the task the gods gave us. I began to get lightheaded, and Lady Flayn's injury reopened without any provocation.
[ his expression flickers--something bitter and angry, just for a brief second. nothing he could have done, except prevent her from going in the first place, and flayn is too headstrong. ] There was an infirmary tent on the island that had not been there before, and a table outside with tools on it. Lady Flayn walked to the tent, and I took a knife from the table and followed.
...Lady Tanzawa was inside. She was a child. Maybe eleven or twelve, at best. She asked us what treatment we required, as if she were a doctor, and insisted on providing treatment, particularly to Lady Flayn. Lady Tanzawa's strength was unnatural, and she pushed Lady Flayn down onto a cot and pulled out something that must have been for an injection. I got between them, and Lady Tanzawa told us she needed to remove our 'residuals'; the moment she did, these odd black bumps appeared beneath our skin and started moving around, as if they were bugs.
[ hm, gross! it was pretty horrifying. ] I forced her to drop whatever medication she had, and she immediately started to grapple with me. She wasn't... it wasn't Lady Tanzawa--by that point, she started to change into some sort of creature with claws, and was coming at us with the complete intent to kill. [ that makes his injuries, the claw marks at his face, make a bit more sense. ] She said we 'ruined everything',
Whatever those residuals were acted as a paralytic, at least to me. They slowed my movements, and if I hadn't acted quickly, I think I would have been rooted to the spot entirely. However, I was able to keep her away from Lady Flayn, and fought with her for some time before I was able to dispatch her completely.
w4; wednesday
he's distracted enough that he narrowly avoids shoulder-checking him, stepping to the side instead. ]
Oh—Yin Yu. My apologies... I should've been paying attention to where I was going.
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I was in the way, my lord, it's alright. Where are you headed?
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I was thinking about taking a moment to recoup in my cabin. I need to do some weapon maintenance anyway.
[ he rarely takes breaks, but this basically just working while sitting down, right? ]
You're welcome to join me, if you like. I could use the company.
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oh, but... at the invitation... he nods, a little surprised. ] ...That...would be nice, if you wouldn't mind. [ !! yin yu sounds... a little happy about it, actually? we've come so far.]
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Of course not. You would be doing me a great boon.
[ he's nice company? ]
Though I admit I'm not without an ulterior motive.
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Is there something I can assist you with?
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[ off they go to dragon cabin! it has a kotatsu and just like, way too much stuff. he looks thoughtful a moment. ]
...I suppose we could... make a game of it.
[ he sounds Unsure, but there is that 20 questions task this week. ]
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the kotatsu is very nice... the dragon cabin is very cozy, isn't it.... ]
...Are you talking about the questions task, my lord?
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Yes, that's the one. I believe we would just take turns asking each other questions?
[ it seems kind of a roundabout way to have conversation, but eh. ]
I think it'd be a nice way to get to know you a little better, Yin Yu.
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well. he shrinks a little, a bit embarrassed... ] ...There's not much to get to know, but if you'd like to play, we can.
[ he's just awkward don't let him be a baby. ]
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We must work on your self esteem, my friend.
[ He taps his cheek briefly, thinking. ]
Hm... so, what is your favored form of combat? You use knives of some sort, don't you?
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yin yu dips his head in admittance to it, a little embarrassed, but luckily, the question is easy enough to answer, a nice distraction. ]
Yes, that's correct. [ dimitri said he wanted to get to know him, a little more... so, he shifts, a bit, almost shyly, and adds: ] That is...well, my training was always with a standard jian sword. A longer one. [ he gestures to roughly the side of a standard sized sword. ]
But, it has been many years since I've carried one. Most of the time I use a short sword, now, or a dagger, but my strengths have always been in hand to hand.
Are you proficient with any weapons besides the one you carry, my lord?
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[ if yin yu says he's proficient, he's probably very good and just being modest. that's dimitri's take on this conversation. as for him... ]
I've always been quite good with spears and lances. And with practice, I've learned swordsmanship as well. [ he sounds pretty confident with both—if there's anything he won't play down, it's his ability to stab people. ] Otherwise... I've been studying mounted combat, as well as archery and some hand-to-hand.
[ battle school! ]
Ah, but I didn't mean to talk so much about martial arts... [ hmm what else do people talk about ] What do you do to relax?
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That's all impressive, my lord. If you'd be interested in learning some more hand to hand techniques, I'd be happy to teach you. [ with a polite bow of his head. ] I've learned a few styles beyond that of my homeland, but if you're already proficient with enough weaponry, it's just a matter of shifting your perspective.
[ that's quite a bit of combat... it doesn't surprise him, though. dimitri is as ever impressive, and flayn had mentioned that their schooling was all in martial capabilities, much like his own had been once upon a time.
as for his second question he -- snorts, a little. relaxation... he's a certified workaholic. ] ...I like to meditate, but I'm not sure if that really counts. I can't say I'm a very 'relaxed' person; I'm more or less alert at all hours. [ ... ] I've started to read again here, as well.
[ ...anyway. ] What is your homeland like? Or... your court, or your kingdom?
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[ he smiles, faint and tired but still with a certain sincerity that's hard to fake. he likes fighting! he likes learning. all the better when the two are together, and yin yu seems like he'd be patient enough to be an instructor.
though maybe dimitri should be teaching him to relax, instead? too bad he's also terrible at it. ]
You do seem a bit... skittish, if you don't mind my saying so. [ it's not said like an insult. ] Though I cannot blame you, given the circumstances... [ ....... ] Ah, right—Faerghus. It is... severe, I suppose, in both temperature and temperament. Our winters are long and stretch through most of the year, and our way of living is austere to survive it. But we value honor, and there is some beauty to our woods... I hope to do what I can to make life easier for my people, so that perhaps it might soften their edges.
[ he has no regrets learning how to fight, but it'd be nice to see a world where people don't have to. he pauses. ]
Sorry—it is a subject I've many feelings on. What of you? What sort of master and nation do you serve?
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It's alright. As any lord should, no? [ considering!
....he thinks about hua cheng, for a minute. well... sometimes actions speak louder than words...considering he seems to insult the ghost city residents as much as literally anything else. they love it, though, so there's... that.
yin yu takes a thoughtful moment to put together his answer, though, speaking of his master. ] ...Nation isn't quite the right word. The affairs that I am the most often involved with are outside of the traditional mortal realm; rather, my master's city deals with the 'underworld', or occasionally, with heavenly officials as well.
My lord and master's title - Chengzhu - means 'city master'. As such, I work for him as the Xianxianyue Officer of the Ghost City. It is... a place like you probably have never imagined. [ yin yu looks a little farther away for a moment, a bit... homesick isn't the right word, because that would imply ghost city to be his home, but it's something near it. ] It is full of monsters, demons and ghosts, though humans and heavenly officials visit it quite often. Picture the largest, loudest market you've ever seen: the stalls, the lanterns, and the lights, everything is red, and creatures of all sorts wander through the streets.
[ he reaches up and gives a brief tap to his mask. ] Many of them wear masks such as my own, to hide their features, but others choose not to. The city is a place where they can live - sometimes they are creatures kicked out of the cycle of reincarnation, or sometimes they simply need a home. It is a wild, raucous place. Ghosts don't sleep, and many of them participate in any sort of mortal vices that you could possibly imagine. Gambling, drinking, dancing... any sort of debauchery takes place at all hours of the day and night.
[ LORE!!!! ] ...It seems I've spoken a bit more than necessary, as well. [ with a little laugh. ] Did you still want to know about my master?
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It certainly sounds more colorful than the underworld we read about. [ Faerghus's afterlife is about as bleak as Faerghus itself. ] I can't say I would feel at home there, but... it's a nice idea. Somewhere where those lost in time might find acceptance and a place to rest.
[ With all his heart, he wishes that sort of place were true. His expression turns a bit soft before he nods. ]
Of course. Please, continue.
[ Despite the fact that he kind of dragged Yin Yu into this conversation, Dimitri does prefer listening to speaking. ]
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[ it's ghost vegas.
anyway. hua cheng... ] ..Chengzhu is even more complicated. In our lands, ghosts come with certain rankings as assigned to them by the heavens, based on the danger they could cause. The highest level ghost is a "calamity" - of which there are only three, and have only been three for quite some time. [ and a half. qi rong sucks and the heavens wanted to have four because it was an even number. incredible.] My master is one of these calamity level ghosts--the so called "Ghost King". He has many aliases, but most colloquially know him as "Crimson Rain Sought Flower".
Chengzhu is famous not for the path he took to become a calamity, but rather what he did afterwards - he defeated 33 gods in martial combat or debate, and then eliminated their presence in the mortal realm in a single night.
[ this is like the most words he's ever spoken around dimitri, probably. yin yu doesn't like talking much about himself, but...he respects his master more than just about anything. besides, his story is quite interesting.]
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So, he smiles, minute and a little amused. A crimson flower... ]
Powerful enough to take down a pantheon of gods... the man you serve must be a force to be reckoned with, Yin Yu. I should like to fight him myself.
[ Worth foes!! Maybe he ought to portal himself to ghost vegas someday.
Anyway, he'd ask this whether they were playing a game or not: ]
Do you miss him much?
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[ he says this almost apologetically, but... dimitri might get the sense that yin yu is ...amused? he's. he's teasing. (it is true, though; hua cheng is absolutely terrifying.) ] Chengzhu is only outclassed in terms of spiritual power by the heavenly emperor himself.
[ mmm... the question is an interesting one. yin yu pauses. ] ...I miss the work, and the normalcy, but Chengzhu and I... don't really have that sort of relationship. It's more business than us being particularly close. [ with a small shrug of his shoulders. ] He can be quite capricious, and tends to toss out treasures that even the richest man would be dazzled by...I have no doubts that were I to stop being useful, I would have left this world some time ago.
[ wow! that's depressing. well, maybe to someone else. yin yu is fine with it; he has something to work hard for, and that's the thing that matters the most. it was what he needed when this started. ] But, he saved my life, and gave me a purpose when I needed one. Not to mention, I have been his retainer for a little over three centuries now, so I suppose that says something of the trust that we have built, too.
[ at least he's good at his job. ] Do you have any retainers of your own?
tears streaming down my face
anyway, it's a short-lived humor; he frowns at yin yu's description, uncertain of whether their relationship was really this... impersonal, or if yin yu is just being modest. ]
Three centuries... I struggle to believe it's as impassive as you say. Your master must have valued you more than you think, Yin Yu.
[ surely if he were truly disposable, he'd have been disposed of. ]
But I suppose I speak from a different perspective. I do have one retainer—a man named Dedue. You... remind me of him, a bit.
me smashing betray while holding you in my arms
[ lol.
anyway. ah!! he tilts his head, a bit curious. ] What's he like, if you don't mind my asking?
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he sighs, leaning back on his hands as he reminisces. ]
He's serious and more... blunt than you are. People often find him intimidating. [ Dimitri looks faintly amused by this. Dedue uses all the polite words that he's been taught, but does not hold his punches with them. ] But he is quiet and spends more time with gardens than people. He's... kind, and forgives my recklessness even as he chastises me for it. He can be overbearing in his protectiveness, sometimes, but he is very dear to me.
[ there is an obvious fondness in his voice, but he frowns. ]
...He also does not consider me a friend. He views himself more as a vassal than his own person—a truly wonderful person with capabilities he won't recognize. I saved his life as well, but he does not seem to realize that by having him by my side, I have been saved countless times. He claims that my cause is his cause, that he lives for my sake, but I...
[ he pauses when his voice starts to get heated, emotional. he misses him. it's strange not having Dedue or the Professor by his side anymore. ]
I'd rather he find his own happiness, rather than being shackled to mine.
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...he does, really. the second part of dimitri's emotional description sticks to yin yu, deep in his core. he empathizes with that -- a vassal more than a person-- so much that it can't be described in words.
it takes him a long moment to speak, and when he does, yin yu glances down at his hands, fingers laced together. ] ...he sounds like an incredibly good person to put your trust in.
[ someone he would like to meet, some day. not that such things are really possible, but... yin yu would certainly be able to make a conversation with him. he seems thoughtful, wanting to regard what dimitri said carefully, to take his emotions into account. ]
...It is often the happiness of a servant to see a job well done. [ he says, softly, full of weight. ] To know that you've kept someone safe, or done all that you can to help the person that you serve... it is a feeling of satisfaction in and of itself. I would not discount those thoughts: I know it can be hard to see from the other side.
[ ...he knows, because he's been on both.
he doesn't tell dimitri that, though. ] My work has been my purpose for centuries. [ ... ] When I say that Chengzhu's deeds are the reason that I am still alive, I do not say so lightly. I live for the job that I do, and the person that I do, not just because he saved my life at a time when I needed it, but because he gave me a reason to continue walking when I had none.
I do not know your retainer, but if he is anything like me, then it is no such shackle. [ serious, weighty, soft. he looks at dimitri again, finally. ] The position that I hold has been my salvation.
w6, post doxx!! finally in death we are allowed to pc
that was terrible. it's a little while after things are all said and done that yin yu comes to find dimitri wherever he's holed up to be sad. he greets him as ever with a bow, though not with his hands. there's not really much sneaking to be done with these fancy phoenix wings or also, anything about him lately, so at least it shouldn't be too surprising! ] Lord Dimitri.
[ and the reason for there not being much sneaking is that he is holding... a bag of marshmallows, a bag of chocolate, and... a box of graham crackers?
yeah. ] ...Someone a few weeks ago brought me food when I needed it a bit more than I knew. I... it's an interesting modern snack.
[ ...that's. the best he's got, yeah. today sucked! let's eat smores. ]
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Now that he's alone, he just sort of sits around with his thoughts. The feathers really do put a spotlight on Yin Yu though, so he manages a small smile before he approaches, clearly fake. ]
Ah... right. I think I'm familiar.
[ He's kind of forgotten that food was a thing. ]
That would be nice. Here, sit with me.
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he nods, quietly, and moves to do just that. yin yu has to fold all six feet of him down a bit awkwardly, the wings and the...tail feathers... doing little to make it any easier, but, he settles across from dimitri anyway, and sets out the snack of choice, moving to open the packages as necessary. ]
...It's one of the things that makes this place feel quite different than the realm of my home. I suppose it's a small comfort, but the ghosts of Ghost City do not need to eat; they simply choose to. For us to still have the needs of survival means just that.
[ that still, they survive. ]
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I suppose that it is.
[ ... ]
In Faerghus, we have a few different iterations of the afterlife. Some believe it is a cold, dark fate underground. Others believe we are sent to the Goddess in peaceful slumber. Others think it is an eternal flame.
[ He doesn't say what he believes in, though. ]
Either way, it doesn't quite seem that we're dead. Or maybe I'm just having more trouble letting go of life than I expected.
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[ he listens to the lore about dimitri's country attentively, as always, and as yin yu makes himself the silly little sandwich snack that akira taught him, he huffs, a little amused on his own. ]
Death is no ending, at least not for myself. It is a cycle - not to mention, Hua Chengzhu's mastery of most things related to life and death means that even a soul could be easily restored if it was lost, if it was something worth saving. This place feels a bit more like my home: I've never experienced it from the side of a ghost, but I can imagine it feels something like this.
[ wandering the world, stuck in between cycles - those are the kinds of ghosts that yin yu sees every single day. it makes coping with this so much easier to know that it's something normal. ]
Besides, if we intend to return, then it is merely a pause. [ he glances up, searching dimitri's face, quietly observant as ever. ] ...Isn't it?
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[ Dark as they are, those are honest feelings on the matter, if Yin Yu wants them. He leans back on his hands, a little more relaxed than he was in life, looking up at the ceiling tiles. He misses the sky—maybe he should throw himself through the portal later. ]
Do your ghosts...
[ A half-beat—there's a thoughtfulness to his pause. ]
How does the cycle go? Do their lives improve upon iteration?
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The thought is that every life you experience - good, bad, in between - will help you to grow. There is no end destination, or end goal, short of immortality. You may remember who you were, or you may not, or you may remember thousands of years down the line.
[ yin yu huffs, a quiet little laugh as he settles back a bit, too, with his newly crafted s'more. ] Of course, I've never reincarnated myself, so I can only tell you what I know from my studies.
I don't think you'll dampen anyone's spirits, my lord. Despite the circumstances, I think having you here is a boon, for many of us. [ with a small duck of his head. ] Many of us from the island have come to know you as a capable, reliable leader. I know that I have.
[ yin yu pauses, glancing down at the sandwich in his hand. something shutters across his expression, and his voice quiets a little further. ] ...I was the first person to figure out that you asked to die. Once they were able to find you, it was obvious. I didn't know all of the circumstances, but...I was able to piece together most of them.
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He understands the greater evil and the pain that everyone has been through, killers and victims alike, but... there is so much damage to heal, still. He sounds tired—and for a lifetime of bright, shining idealism, for a moment, he looks jaded. ]
It did seem that you all had a better understanding of things than the living did.
[ It sounds like, from what Guy has told him already, the dead were able to work out most of it. Or maybe... the living just didn't want to see it? There's plenty he's trying to understand about what happened, but it sounds like it went about as terribly as possible. People too attached to his memory—people too attached to his killers. It seemed that some doubted his ability to self-sacrifice—it was too clean a death for someone like him, someone who could fight until he could no longer move, until the last, stuttered breath hissed out of between his teeth like steam.
He's glad that some people pieced it together—though Yin Yu has gotten one thing wrong as well. Just one, arbitrary detail that only really matters to Dimitri himself. ]
What do you think happened the night of my death?
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he's quiet, thoughtful as he thinks through his answer. ]
...I was not aware of the "roles" - or certainly the extent of them. I had learned of one when I arrived here, but after the trial on Saturday, I deduced that Flayn had one, too. Initially, I thought that she was working with Lady Beau, and that you all had to have discussed what was going to happen, on Thursday at some point after the teams were combined. I know now she was only involved in that she was killing others, too, but not you.
I thought perhaps that you and Flayn had discussed the necessity of the kill, because Winter's team was the only one that was still separated from the others. I'm not sure if it was the night of, at curfew, or after the engagement. I know such roles make it so that they cannot speak of their involvement, so... with more time to think on it, it seems more likely that it was the night of.
[ his brow furrows; something small and sad filters into his expression. ] The tea - that was the two of you, wasn't it? On curfew night, in the gardens: it is a place that she loves, and something that she loves, too. I'm not sure how you got there in the first place, or when the conversation ultimately took place.
[ a pause. ] ...There were many things I couldn't place, or details that wouldn't fall in line. I wasn't sure what the ultimate cause of death was, or how the other party might have factored in--I now know there were two others. I didn't know that those with such 'roles' could not confess to even being an accomplice until today, so I thought perhaps originally it was Flayn who completed the final blow, with an accomplice who refused to say anything.
...And I know after the deed was done, she was the one that must have placed you among the verbenas, or - at least asked for someone to help her place you there. That was her, without a doubt.
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She probably set up the tea, yes. [ Very few people knew his preferences, so that much was likely obvious. ] The flowers were likely her attempt to be caught—Flayn made it clear enough she was willing to die instead. But I sat and spoke with them all a while—I already suspected there was a killing role, and they explained to me their circumstances, within reason.
[ The fact that if one of them died, they'd be replaced—the notion that they didn't want to do this. The reality that keeping the killing roles alive was—ultimately—not a bad thing for the good of all.
Dimitri does not believe in ends justifying means, but the reality is that everyone is suffering this game by having to play it, and that they had to make it to the end soon. He has sympathy for both sides, though that doesn't mean he's free of some judgment. ]
I collaborated as best I could to get that point across—that most of our killers were working to end this game to save as many lives as possible. And that my death was, ultimately, to buy time, and not something to be avenged.
[ The trials are a joke. It doesn't seem like anyone got that, but in retrospect, he understands why emotions were running so high. Their feelings are manipulated against them—they were bound to fail trials, really. ]
...Everything about this place is meant to twist our emotions against each other. The bonds we have, the things we share—it means we protect those we love most and hurt the rest. We become blind to the wrongdoings of those we care about... it takes our trust and makes a knife of it. It draws the evil from each and every one of us like blood from a wound.
[ He hasn't forgiven everyone involved. But he understands them enough that he doesn't seek to kill anyone. He just hates what they've all become—and, most of all, hates the game that's made them this way. ]
Even you...
[ ... ]
I didn't ask to die. I was not above killing whoever I saw that night.
[ Was it easier to believe that he had chosen his own end? When Yin Yu first realized that Flayn was involved, did he hope that she might escape detection? That maybe this was Dimitri had asked her to kill him, and not vice versa? Would he have covered for her, if only he was alive?
Was there ever an easy answer to such things? ]
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that, too.
he gives a small bow of his head. ] ...You speak very wisely, my lord. It was admittedly quite difficult to see the whole picture.
[ a lot of the things on dimitri's mind have been weighing on yin yu's, too. trust, bonds... the person who faced him the night of his murder was not someone he would have expected to be across from. for a moment, he glances up at the ceiling of the campsco, and sits back, a little, too; the bone deep exhaustion that has been set into his bones his whole life seems more obvious, more familiar. ]
...You weren't able to see the trial itself. The directors offered to take gifts to those on the other side for us that morning, and I sent Lady Flayn a bouquet, with a coded message through the flowers, though it only accounted for my suspicions of another person who was revealed to have a role, today. At first search, the living only found the lead up to your death, and not your body itself. There was a tea set, and then, the flowers - I thought, admittedly, perhaps someone was setting her up. I was sure that if she was to be scapegoated, then it would have been my fault. And that thought terrified me, I will admit.
...However, no one even bothered to ask. And as the investigation began to wear on, I realized that, were the living to notice and put the pieces together, I would have ensured her capture, instead.
[ a lot of things about that trial still bother him. the fact that no one else noticed. that no one else saw how much flayn wanted to be caught. but - even if they did, would they ignore it? because they felt like she didn't deserve a just punishment, because of her kindness, her good nature?
did people there really know her, at all?
yin yu exhales, as he considers that night, and finishes, quietly. ] And that... that was alright with me. By the end, I was hoping it would trigger someone into seeing the things that I saw.
At the time, it seemed even crueler, to not allow it. I did not know the depths of what she had done to that point, but we once spoke to each other that if we found the other doing something unspeakable along these lines, then we would see it through to its end, as justice would tell -- whether it was hurtful, or not. I know how it feels to live alone with the guilt of an unspeakable crime.
Ultimately, these trials are just a farce to cover the bigger problem. As we learned on the island itself, death is not an end here. It is merely a pause, should we play our cards correctly. While the actions committed by those who were assigned these 'jobs' is cruel...the fact lays in that they were 'assigned'. Our real enemy is that pink creature that is set to be born any moment now, that took away the right of those who killed to choose whether they wanted to do such a thing or not.
[ yin yu is usually not someone who speaks often, particularly around someone he considers of a higher standing than himself. but as they speak through this, he seems a little more open, a little more relaxed in doing so.
death has a lot of way of giving you perspective. death, and life - both things yin yu never really felt like he had.
he stops, takes a deep breath. his expression's a little far off, for a moment, but it settles, into something calm. ] When I awoke after curfew on the night I was killed, I was in the same mindset as you. I knew that if I ran into someone, logically, the odds of me surviving were quite high. I am a capable fighter, and have rarely run into trouble even inside of the camp. Yasusada and I fought for some time, and if he hadn't used his power on me, it may have ended differently.
But... [ he trails off, for a moment, then, looks back at dimitri, properly. unmasked, bare in admitting it. accepting, and willing, and...a little freed. ] I did choose to die, my lord.
[ he shakes his head, his voice staying calm, solemn. ] I didn't want to kill someone again. I fought for my life up until I knew it was going to be over, and then, instead of tying Yasusada to myself so he would die alongside me, I chose to tie him to Lady Lili - so that perhaps you all would have a chance to find some answers. The fact that I awoke here with all the memories of what happened was the only knowledge I had I may have been successful, and to see things unraveling since makes me think it at least could have been a start. To me, that was more important than dying; my life is that of a servant, but ultimately, it is a life in which I have not felt that I had many choices.
I did not mean to begrudge you, or to absolve you of anything that may have stained your hands. I would not absolve anyone who has committed a crime, either. I think every one of us has the capability for terrible things, and terrible violence.
[ go die! ]
...But the choice of what we do with that instinct - or how we address it after it has already been done - is what I think makes a person who they are. This place-- that thing-- has taken choice from many of us, and that is not a fate I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
I'm choosing to focus forward on eliminating that creature. The consequences for those who committed crimes are not forgotten, and not forgiven. But I believe there are many in that group who would not dared to have done so, and that is the thread that I want to carry me forward to solving this once and for all.
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Still, he's aware that everything Yin Yu is saying rings true—he understood it all before his death, though he sounds tired now. ]
I applaud what you've done so far, Yin Yu. You've made the most of a truly cruel situation, and I don't disagree with most of your words.
[ He's glad to listen, and he respects him. He just doesn't agree, not entirely. ]
But, what... choice do you speak of? We may be the only two here who had any say in being here to begin with.
[ They both had the option to kill, or to die. He doubts the other victims had that luxury, besides perhaps Shinobu or Sanji. And besides Yin Yu, there are few who even received any justice for their deaths—any answers, or time to grieve and process. The memory of having his throat slit is only a few hours old. ]
Everyone here is willing to swallow their bitterness and fight on—I have no doubt that when the snake appears, we will all do battle, together. [ Who is honestly going to sit here and not help out of sheer pettiness? Hikage wasn't wrong: they have to resolve this game before they can do anything else anyway, so their hand is more or less decided for them. ] But choice is the last thing any of these people have ever had.
[ It's true that the pink snake is the enemy. He sympathizes with their killers. He believes that their cruelty was raised to the surface by the game, not by their own will. He wouldn't have agreed to his end if he didn't truly believe that Flayn and the others wouldn't try to face justice. But it doesn't matter—no one wanted to notice her, because in the end, they protect their own. Did he want her to be found? He doesn't know. Trials mean nothing. Flayn must be suffering a great deal—someone as kind as her, bearing such crimes without recourse. He isn't so foolish that he expects his own death wasn't difficult for her, and looking back, she must have known it was coming for days.
But she and the others had a choice. They had no option but to kill, but they chose who died—they decided who got to live. Even now, they're shown understanding and, in some cases, forgiveness, when they should live with guilt. That's the burden of living at all.
Dimitri holds no bitterness for his own death: he would die a thousand times over for everyone here. But the problem is that... they were the only two given that option, anyway. ]
I suppose you could consider it a choice that no one has given up, but... the reality is that nearly everyone here was robbed of options long ago.
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[ being robbed of choices. being protective of your own. being cruel, being kind - the fact that the dice fell so that many people from the same place were all protecting each other. now it becomes obvious that their group suffered, while the group from the ship only lost one saturday, by a true fluke.
he loses a little steam, stopping as he considers dimitri's words. it it more wonderful? such self sacrifices come from a distinct self hatred, from a judgement of his own character as something inherently sacrificial. as worthless. its taken him some time to think he may even be more than that, and even after making the choice to die that night, he struggled with it. he'd caused pain - more than he knew - in doing so, and that had been stunning to him. ] That's... what I wanted to get at, I think. Even since the island - we have never had much choice at all. None of us entered this 'game' willingly, and none of us expected to be dragged into it a second time. Tomioka certainly did not choose to work for the spirits of the island, and those with roles did not choose to be burdened with such a thing.
Still others killed without those provocations. There are still killings we do not understand, even with that confession. I suppose in that respect, those people had some form of 'choice', but I know for certain one was out of relation to attempting to assure the fate of one who is sleeping. That life was more important to that person than my own.
[ by now, he and yasusada are okay. yin yu recognizes the blessing for what it is - that he was able to remember. but ultimately his death was needless; it had been chosen by someone else, for a conclusion they secured a week later, with no death involved.
yin yu falls quiet again, looking down at his hands. it's a little while before he responds again. ] ...Everything here is designed to pit us against each other. The lines for alliances and such were drawn in the sand before any of us even really knew it, and these roles acted as catalysts to make it worse. It is that act of taking such choices that is the root of every problem we've since discussed. Even those who confessed today - the amount of vitriol and anger that is quite rightfully deserved is sure to cause a stir, and may perhaps cause people to react in vengeance - I can only hope it won't, because there is little that we can do here. Perhaps any actions taken against others will come after, when we defeat this creature and reunite. I can't be sure.
It feels like even to put this behind us is cruel, even temporarily. There is no putting anything about this place, or the island, behind any of us at all. Victim or perpetrator, we will all be haunted by the memories of the things that transpired here forever.
...But the clear minded goal of destroying the pink creature is the only way I know how to cope with all of this, for now. [ with a soft huff of a humorless laugh. ] Perhaps that is not so wise of me, or so healthy, but it is the only way I know how to keep moving.
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Yin Yu isn't wrong about any of this, though it's clear there is no good resolution. In the end, even with a clear goal ahead, there is no neat, painless solution. ]
It's unfair, how cruel this place makes people. [ ... ] Or rather, how much it brings the capacity for cruelty out of everyone. The blame ultimately lies on this snake, but we're the ones who must bear the consequences.
[ The secrecy, the roles, the fact that they couldn't explain themselves—it's all meant to cause division and strife, and it worked. And once the snake is gone, all they'll have left is the repercussions. The killers will have to answer for what choices they did make. The dead will have the burden of showing them understanding, of looking deep inside themselves and wondering if they would've been any better.
They've all shown such ugliness—maybe they deserve to be haunted. Dimitri still has hope, but there's something damaged to it now, its luster faded. But he's calmer, at least. He tilts his chin up, looking at nothing in particular as he frowns. ]
In any case, I would never take anyone's reason to live away from them. [ The irony being that they're dead, but. Even so. ] When so much around us is razed to nothing—that's when we most need something to cling to, I think.
[ Whether it's a goal, or a task. Revenge, redemption, or reunion. Whatever it is, he hopes this week will be when all the dead find their reason. ]
For what it's worth, I think everyone will chose to focus on what they still have yet to save, rather than what they've already lost.
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once, he needed something to cling to, just like that, and hua cheng gave it to him. maybe hua cheng didn't know; maybe he just wanted to stick it to the heavens, to take on their banished god and use him to his full potential. yin yu has never asked hua cheng why he chose to save him, and he never really will, but that work had become his own salvation, in the end. he's looking forward to returning to it.
...maybe. not as much as he was, when they finished at the island. now, for the first time, he's not so sure.
yin yu's quiet for a long moment, then, reflective, as he looks up, too. the fluorescent lights buzzing above them are dull and dead compared to the outside, compared to life. even in the ghost city, a place filled to the brim with the dead and the dying, there were always the stars up ahead.
what they still have yet to save. what they still have yet to do. death comes with regrets, doesn't it? no matter what kind of person that you are. he thinks back to their conversation the week he died, of nation, of home. ] ...Lord Dimitri. When you return to Faerghus, what awaits you? You're still quite young. Will you be ascending to the throne?
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He focuses on the question. ]
Yes. [ In this, he doesn't waver. There's no bright, haughty enthusiasm to his voice, but he's been groomed for the throne since the day he was born—he knows what he is. ] Once I come of age, I will succeed my uncle and become king.
[ It won't be long now. There's no moon and stars here to look for, so he switches his gaze forward instead. ]
Though I have to make amends for my family as well. [ Revenge. ] I think both will keep me busy, so long as I live.
[ Whether that's a few years or a few decades... if he gets back home, he'll have plenty that he still has yet to accomplish. ]
What of you, Yin Yu? Do you intend to return to your master?